Sunday, July 02, 2006

HGTV is Porn for Women

For those of you not blessed/cursed with a cable system with this channel on it, HGTV stands for Home and Garden Television. And if you didn't need that explanation, you already know that the title of this post is the absolute gospel truth. HGTV is porn for women.

If you even mention the four letters in close proximity to one another in the company of women, you will see a mischievous gleam in their eyes, and knowing glances and moans of approval will pass through the group like the "wave" at a sporting event. It is unbelievably addictive, a visual sensation that is pleasurable to women, which is perhaps akin to men's pleasure from an internet flash of naked skin and accompanying slapping sounds. The glazed eyes and the intermittent drooling are the same for both sexes.

I wish I could tell you what the draw is, but I can only speculate, having flown entirely to close to the flame myself, only to be hypnotized by its warmth and light. Is it our biological imperative to feather the nest that makes us swoon over the home makeover shows? I acknowledge that I am drawn to feather my own nest (and adorn myself, for that matter) with beautiful things, not unlike a crow when her interest is peaked by shiny things, and the key to the appeal of some of their programming is just that. There is a show called "I Want That!", which is an open appeal not only to our love of all consumer goods, but also to novelty, and the practicality and beauty of items cleverly engineered and still aesthetically pleasing. What crow, er, I mean woman, can resist the lure of such clever and shiny things? Caw! Caw!!

Perhaps the appeal is not so much about accumulation of things as it is the excitement of the electrons in our brains when we see that you could be so much more creative in decorating your home with, say, only $100 dollars!? I know many women who do not consider themselves "creative", but when they talk about HGTV, they admit that they had been drawn to rearrange rooms, paint things, and turn items that seemed useless into something pretty and clever. Although television watching is a rather passive activity, it seems that a lot of home improvement has been spurned on by the shows on this channel, and as a result, a lot of women who normally would have no idea what to paint a room beyond pastels have been positively motivated.

Whatever the reason for its appeal, I am completely smitten. And if you are without a Y chromosome, you probably are, too. (That's not to say that there aren't plenty of men who have been sucked into its vortex as well, but this is mostly a "female thing".)

I'd love to talk to you more, but I think that there might be another edition of "Curb Appeal" coming on soon, and I really must see how the decide to paint the garage doors. And there is my half-finished project of faux painting to finish in the living room. And the episode where they rearranged that guy's garden gave me an idea about where to plant those perennials...

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